While most will know that a broken marriage is unhealthy for your heart, did you know that it’s also unhealthy for you and your family socially and economically, too? Across the years, studies have revealed that broken marriages are related to various negative setbacks such as poverty, debt, and children’s heath among many.
The bad thing here is that divorce cases locally are on the rise. The Malaysian divorce rate has soared by 105% from 2002-2009 which implies that more and more people are experiencing the negative implications of this as well.
Here are just SOME of the observed correlations:
Economic
- Separated/divorced families have experienced at least a 70% reduction of their household wealth
- 42.4% of children of divorced mothers who remained single fell to poverty
- Divorced individuals were 2-3% more likely to get into debt as compared to married couples
Social
- Children who grow up within an intact marriage have been found to have a higher likelihood of being in healthy lasting marriages themselves
- Kids who lived with 2 married parents were, on average,physically healthier as compared to those who didn’t
- Children who have married parents that stay married have a lower drug and alcohol abuse rate
- Married men had a longer lifespan than single or divorced men
Keeping it Together
Let’s face it…marriage isn’t easy! Like marriage to a garden, it isn’t enough to plant flowers and walk away, expecting a beautiful, bountiful blossom year after year. Marriage takes commitment, maintenance and at times, a willingness to get “dirty” because it isn’t always easy. There are some recommendations experts agree that address typical problems married couples face. If you are struggling in this areas, take solace in knowing that most married couples face this difficulty multiple times over the years.
Always make time for “Quality Time”
Be sure to schedule in a regular time where the focus is just you and your spouse… “dating” each other again on a regular basis is fun and keeps the spark alive! Sometimes it is fun for one spouce to plan the date and keep it a surprise to the other one. Another fun idea for date night is, if going out to dinner together, you order for the other one without letting each other know. The surprise and excitement is when the food arrives and you see what you are going to eat! It is so important to keep this time sacred where you commit to the date and remember why it is you fell for this person in the first place!
Respect for each other is a MUST
One should feel best when they are with their spouse. When either spouse feels that they aren’t appreciated or feels belittled in the relationship, the whole marriage is in trouble. Avoid shouting, cursing, and/or talking down to your partner. Empower your partner and reassure them that they matter. While it’s impossible to think that you won’t fight ever, make sure to work it out calmly afterwards when you do. Recognize when you have hurt the feelings of the other and take the initiative to apologize. Apologizing may be difficult for some but nothing shows respect clearer than by swallowing your pride. If you really feel yourself getting angry beyond control, take time to walk away to get calm before you confront your spouce.
Keep communications between each other clear
Say what you feel clearly and listen to your spouse closely. Never assume what the other understands or is feeling. Many arguments stem from wrong assumptions. Clear communications go a long way in terms of subverting problems/issues that could take a toll in your marriage.
Maintain Sexual Intimacy
Wholehearted sex is a very integral part of any marriage. I say “wholehearted” because instances where you just indulge your spouse’s request to have sex will often be recognized by your spouse, even if he or she doesn’t tell you!Remember, this intimacy is what makes your relationship different than your relationship with anyone else and it is important to keep this authentic. If you and your partner are not having relations at all, this is a red flag and it can prompt significant further issues in your marriage.
Avoid “tempations” that risk trust in your Marriage
60% of all divorce cases are one way or another caused by infidelity and, usually, the reason is when one partner felt his or her needs weren’t being met, sexually.Therefore, stay away from any situations that could tempt you or cause your spouse to suspect any infidelity. It is extremely hard to regain trust and if you are truly dedicated to this person you vowed to spend the rest of your life with, stay away from any situations that could potentially detract you from that promise.
Read more: http://mumcentre.com.my/parents/why-keeping-a-marriage-healthy-keeps-you-healthier#ixzz2A90t2dCc
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